Friday, June 5, 2009

No more anonymous commenting, please. It makes me sad.

If the flu wasn't enough to make me feel down and out yesterday, then a comment from an anonymous blogger was. Heaven knows I'm one of those people who are easily affected by the comments of others, as well as comments made by me. In fact, if you only knew how many times I'll sometimes go over bits and pieces of past conversations in my head, thinking "should I not have said that?" or "what did she really mean?", then it's for certain you'd consider me a severe nut case, if you didn't already.

But anyhow, this anonymous commenter has left nasty comments on my blog before - all of which I have removed, in case you're inclined to look for them - and then yesterday I got yet a nasty one on my post "Mother Darling", in which I praised my mother for her gardening abilities.

Just to inform you, the title "Mother Darling" is a reference to the documentary Grey Gardens, in which little Edie often refers to her mother as "Mother Darling". This, however, was lost on the anonymous commenter who all of sudden, many days after the post was published, commented as follows: "Your darling mother... How much she pay you? Given that your 'faps' had a larger part in raising you guys in your early years than your mother did."

When I asked what the fuck that was supposed to mean, the anonymous commenter replied: "I guess you're one of those people that need to have things spelled out for you".

I was so baffled and puzzled I had to call Johan to help me decipher it.
"Maybe it was your dad", he said and cracked up - guffaw! (in case you're wondering "faps" is one of my nicknames for my dad).

But in any case, isn't it preposterous?! Most of all it made me feel super sad, and made me wonder if I should set my blog to private or something.

I realize that part of having a public blog is that anyone can read it, make links to it, and, at least to a certain extent, comment. But then on the other hand, I'm not really one who seeks to continually broaden my circle of readers by leaving comments here and there and everywhere (I leave perhaps a total of five comments on blogs per month, usually on the same two or three). Grand exposure is not really my mission, and in that regard, I think I manage to keep a public blog somewhat in private. You kind of have to look for my blog in order to find it, if you get my drift.

That's not to say it doesn't make me happy when someone I don't know stumbles upon my blog and decides to read it. On the contrary I think that's one of the beautiful and interesting aspects about personal blogs: How it connects people, how it allows you to follow the minutiae of other people's lives, the thoughts of people living in places far away from you.

For my own part, I blog to process life at large: The things I read, see, hear, and feel. It helps me think. Plus, I love writing, and knowing that some people may read my writing makes me put a little more of an effort into it as opposed to if I were writing a diary for me and me alone.

I also love the idea that my family and friends who are far away can keep an eye on what I do, that Matteo's mother can keep an eye on him, that a friend of mine can send a link to my blog to a friend of his or hers and say: "See, this is what I did on Wednesday" or "Look, this was the exhibition we saw". I love that I can bump into new friends who already feel they know me a little because they've read my blog, or old friends, who're up to date with what I do, even though we haven't seen each other for long. Chances are that I'm up to date with them too: Either because they have blogs of their own, or because we have common friends. At the end of the day, we're connected in a multiplicity of ways - tele-communicative and interpersonal.

So for all you lovely readers - who aren't that many at the end of the day, just the way I like it! - please keep on reading, feel free to comment or not, just as before. In fact, I don't crave comments, and find it just as gratifying to simply know that you might read it, that you'll perhaps comment on it when we meet next, that you send me an email instead, or perhaps wont comment at all. I, myself, am a silent reader of many blogs, too.

It's just the nasty, mean and uninformed comments and readers that I would rather be without, thank you very much.

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